This is the second part of The Single Guy’s observations about life, dating, money and women; and not necessarily in that order. In the first post, I shared some observations I’ve made and in this post I want/need answers. Answers to a couple of questions that have been burning my brain for quite some time actually. Seriously ladies, I need answers like RIGHT NOW. What are you waiting for?? Start typing in the comments NOW.
Why don’t women make the first move sexually?
Here’s what I mean. So I pick you up for our date, we go to dinner and have great conversation; from there we go to a movie, laugh and discuss the movie afterward. We end up at a bar/lounge and enjoy the band and the atmosphere as we sip on drinks and get a little frisky. We end up back at your place on the couch sort of watching TV/listening to music, etc., just enjoying the mood. You invite me into your room to “look” at pictures or something. You’re flirting with me and maybe even put on some “comfortable” clothes that are a bit “revealing”. But that’s where the momentum stops and we go into a lull. If the guy doesn’t make a move to kiss you or initiate some romance/sex you don’t make a move either. WHY? You want to be romantic (have sex) but will sit there on the couch the rest of the night and wait for the guy to make a move.
I’m not saying all women in these situations want to have sex. I’m not forcing anyone to have sex or do something they don’t want to do; I’m talking about the ones who want to have sex in this situation. Is that the part where we’re supposed to be mind readers and decipher all the clues? Figure out what comes next while you sit there thinking to yourself “I hope he kisses me”? I mean you were straightforward with everything else. You indicated the time to come pick you up, the restaurant you wanted to go to, the movie you wanted to see, the band you wanted to hear, the “revealing” clothes to get comfy in so why can’t you be straightforward with wanting to have sex or at least initiate it? I know there is an illogical reason for it. There has to be. And it can’t be the old excuse of “I don’t want him to think of me as blah blah blah”. He is going to think you are confused or a tease with that approach.
Is it a waste of time?
I was watching a movie a while ago and in one scene the lead actor says that for women, every relationship (person you date) that doesn’t end in marriage ends up being referred to as a waste of her time. Imagine that. If you think of the average number of relationships a woman has, she is wasting a ton of time. I guess what’s worse is when she knows from an early point that the relationship won’t last but continues it anyway. Then she’s choosing to waste her time whereas I don’t think men see it the same way. Is it a waste of our time to date many women? Most likely not. We can get some experience from it. We learn some new things. We get to cross some dating goals off our list. We always find some benefit from the relationship. Like the time I went to woman’s store to buy a gift for a girl I was dating. The cute female associate helped me out a bit and got me the right size, color, etc. Well, things didn’t work out with that girl but when I went back to buy a gift for my mom guess who was there to help me again?
Yep, the same cute female associate…who I got to date for a while. I’d consider that one of the benefits. Here’s some examples of what IS a waste of time for guys–
- When it takes you an hour to figure out what type of food you want to eat and where you want to eat it.
- When we come to pick you up at 7pm because that is the time you said to come, but you’re not ready.
- When you meet us and act like you don’t have a boyfriend but then we find out you do.
So for men it’s more about the time right now as it relates to the immediate or potential benefit of the situation. We don’t look at failed relationships as a negative the same way women do. I think that same mindset is at play when men and women meet. She is thinking “what is the end result going to be?” while he is thinking “what is the end result of the next hour going to be?” She wants to know if he meets all her criteria while all he wants to know is will she meet me later on outside the strip club.
So I look forward to the new season. All the single guys do. It means new adventures in the dating world. The highs and the lows. The good and the bad. It’s about having fun and living life. It should always be that way. Now I gotta run to meet this girl I met online, at this fancy restaurant. Good thing I have about $100 in my wallet. Let’s see who makes a move later on.
As always, leave a comment and let me know what YOU think.
- Observations and Questions from a Single Guy – Part Deaux - April 6, 2015
- Observations and Questions from a Single Guy – Part One - March 29, 2015
- When is dating actually dating, a male perspective… - December 18, 2014
- A Single Man’s Thoughts… - October 10, 2014