Cookies, Gender Roles and More Cookies

Cookies, Gender Roles and More Cookies

posted in: SG Chronicles | 2

So there I was, on my way back from school to my parent’s place, I had been craving chocolate cookies for about two weeks, so I had made a mental note to get one in a supermarket in town. I got to Ijebu-ode town just few minutes to six, I was in quite a hurry that evening because shops start closing for the day by 6pm. So immediately I alighted from the cab, I stopped a bike, the guy who sat next to me in the cab stopped me in my tracks saying hi, however he sensed I was in a hurry, and asked for my phone number, saying he wanted to talk. By now I was already on the bike set to go, so I called it out to him and the bike zoomed off. By the way, I did get my cookies after trying two stores 😍😍.


Pic 1 - MJ

So this man called me one day, late at night, and I picked my phone to answer, I had previously missed his call one early morning before that day. He got talking right away, asking me what I do, where I’m from and where I live, in case he was in town again, and wanted to visit.

For those who know me well and are close to me, if you ask them where I live, they would tell you I live around the globe. Funny eh, much less asking where I would be at a precise moment, you can’t get an answer from me much less them. Not because I don’t want to tell but because even I do not know. Weird right, call me crazy, am cool with that 😎.

Pic 2 - MJ

Anyway let’s not digress, so this young man asked me where I live permanently, and I answered honestly, saying I don’t have one. Right now, am in Ijebu town, tomorrow, I could be in Akure, next tomorrow I may be in Lagos, the next in Ibadan. (Yes, I am a weird individual, we established that already). To be honest I can’t be precise, that was my answer.

Was it wrong of me to give an honest answer? In my opinion, I did say absolutely not. In your opinion, what would you say?

P.S: Note that he asked where I live permanently, which I don’t have, even my landlady at my own apartment I rented with my own money thinks am crazy, because sometimes am not home in 3 months. Sigh.

This young man, confused and worried about my gender, gave me an interesting response, despite taking my time to explain to him that the kind of work I do is between I and my PC and the internet, which means I could work from a mountain top, so long as there is internet there. Hmmm I did have time to talk that night now that I think about it. So he said, but wait a minute, you have got to have somewhere you permanently reside and can be found at, because let’s face it, you can’t be in Lagos today, and Ibadan later in the evening, then Ijebu the next morning.

You can’t travel as much as I do because you are a woman.

Do you know that awkward moment when you go like, Yeepa, Mogbe, Moku, Modaran in your mind (Pronounced as written, Yoruba words for Aaaah, I am in trouble, I am dead, I am in debt). That’s what I felt next. I honestly don’t remember how that conversation ended, but I never heard from him after that day. Although it got interesting three days ago after writing down this piece first draft, as he called to ask how I am and where I was.

He reminds me a lot of spouses we encounter around us or see their actions every day, who want partners that can sit their ass where it is kept. Last I checked, your partner is not a cupboard to be placed in one place or moved when the other partner wishes to change its location. They are first a person, before they are females or males. To all the spouses out there whose partners are impacting and inspiring lives locally and globally, much love to you all.

To those who are proud of their spouses’ handiwork and are supportive, stepping up to the game, I blow you kisses. To those that can’t be supportive, that get angry if their partner attends a common positively influencing neighbourhood seminar, how much more a regional programme, or an international one, to those who want their partners to be their nannies, while they live their dreams and he/she quenches his/hers, I say ‘park well, bomb dey your head’ (Nigerian pidgin words for ‘leave the way, you are out of your mind’).

Lastly, to my #singleladies out there, who are happy being the best they can wherever they find themselves, I blow you kisses, may you not find yourself tangled with a partner with bombed head.

Pic 3 - MJ

Ciao, for now, I will love to hear from you. Muaaaah!