I recently asked some friends how they describe chemistry and these are some of their responses:
- Mutual feelings between the guy and girl and get along well (vibing)
- Analogous to when you’re absolutely fulfilled, but always wanting more
- Non-verbal, non-communicative agreement between two parties; it’s when the stars align and the timing is right—when things align and two people are on the same accord- when you feel like you’ve known a person all your life—can it be a one way street?
- Attraction of a higher intensity that causes you to want to be around the person more often than not and you’re thinking about them even when you’re not around them— pondering the future together when you’re still in the stages of understanding who they are, makes you want the best for the person even when you don’t know what the best is.
But I want to know, is it a real thing in the sense that it guarantees anything in the way of ‘love, marriage and a baby carriage’? In case you’re wondering, I unequivocally believe in chemistry. You either have it or you don’t. It’s not something that can be manufactured or something that requires ‘heating up’ so to speak. At least not in my experience it doesn’t. But lately I’ve been wondering, ‘am I too quick to dismiss any romantic interest because I’m looking for some ethereal connection’? After all, I’m 43 (soon to be 44) and single so maybe I need to take a second look at what motivates me in the dating department. As a result, I started thinking, “how do I define chemistry”?
For me, chemistry has always been the thing that no word can adequately capture. It’s a rhythm to your interaction with someone that reveals itself without effort. It happens organically. It’s a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual connection that refuses to be defined. It’s a note only the two of you hear. It has depth and expands and contracts as the connection between two people do. So the question remains, is it real? Can it be captured? I believe so but it guarantees nothing in the way of a permanent, long-lasting; this is ‘the one’ type relationship. Hell, it doesn’t even mean that you love one another. It just provides you with a stage upon which to dance if you will.
So there you have it folks, I think we can all agree that chemistry is whatever we choose to make of it. Most of the above comments I agree with; however, the one that left me thinking is whether chemistry can only be experienced by one of the two people? What happens then? Is it one of those situations like if a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around does it really make a sound? Does chemistry exist only when witnessed by both parties involved? While I don’t have the answers to these questions, I think half the fun will be figuring it out, don’t you? Share you chemistry thoughts in the comments.