Dating Expectations

Dating Expectations


I recently went out (or maybe the proper term is met up with) with a guy I met at a fraternity happy hour. I’m struggling with the appropriate term because it felt like we were just hanging out more than anything else. Let me back up…I feel I need to add some context to my words.

Soooooooooooooooo I, met ‘Mike’ at a happy hour as I mentioned above. My girlfriend and I went with the hopes of meeting some decent men (I may be a single girl who rocks but that in no way means I’m anti-relationship). We’re having some drinks and doing a little dancing, you know, keeping it sexy and just enjoying ourselves and end up talking (okay, and drinking) with these two guys. Fast forward to a group of us, that included our two new friends, going to a lounge for more music and drinks and before the night was over, ‘Mike’ and I ended up exchanging numbers before we parted ways.

What followed was a series of casual text exchanges, the likes of which included ‘hey, how are you?’ and ‘how was your day?’. As you can tell, nothing deep or probing. At some point, we decided to meet up at a spot midway between us for drinks and a bite to eat. He ends up arriving 30 minutes late which irked my soul BUT he kept me updated about his arrival time and apologized so I took a deep breath and let it go.

Let it go

I think I was able to shrug it off partly because I didn’t have anything going on that night and I was already out and enjoying a drink at the restaurant where we were meeting. Surprisingly, given how things started, I ended up having a nice time. The conversation was easygoing and somewhat revealing in a fun way, and the food and music provided a nice flavor to the atmosphere.

BTW, where IS this going?
BTW, where IS this going?

Here’s the thing, I kept wondering where this was going (if anywhere) and if I was in fact attracted to him and conversely him me. I needed the evening to fit in a box I could understand. It wasn’t until I was driving home that I realized three things:

1. Not everything has to fit in a box, nor should it.

2. Sometimes it’s about the moment and that’s it.

3. There’s a sense of freedom in just being present in the moment.

Then I had another epiphany, I’ve spent WAY to much time trying to fit square pegs into round holes. In other words, forcing something (i.e., relationships) to go in a box that it doesn’t belong. And I’m tired…so tired of trying folks. So I’m going to work on just enjoying the moments as they come, and let the rest take care of itself. Why don’t you try it with me, after all, there’s safety in numbers, no?