Twenty eight years and two children later I’m back in the dating world. But am I really back and what am I back to? It’s been two years since the separation and ultimately divorce and not one “date”. No movie, dinner date, walk in the park, hangout…do I really need to continue? All this begs the question: when is this dating thing going to jump off for me?
WARNING: Content may lack continuity as does any semblance of my dating life.
I have friends and relatives that are divorced or separated from long term relationships and haven’t had the woes of a non-existent dating life as I. Never did I anticipate being in this space and needless to say trying to navigate being single in the middle of life (not to be confused with a mid-life crisis). After many conversations with like-minded confidantes, no one believes that I haven’t been asked out or men aren’t falling all over me. Well believe it. This educated, self sufficient, professional, attractive woman is not the belle of the ball.
I have been presented with three trains of thoughts. A few have said that people — particularly women, emit an aura as to their availability. So, maybe I’m not emitting the pheromones that all mammals possess when mating season approaches. Perhaps the proverbial “get lost” neon sign on my forehead is flashing so brightly that even I need shades. Or, I’m “intimidating” to the average suitor. Of all three this one makes the least sense. And surprisingly I’ve been told this by close male friends and relatives.
Scenario: I’m having a meal at a restaurant and seated alone at the bar. A potential gentleman suitor approaches, asks if anyone is sitting next to me, to which I say no. He sits. And then nothing. No pleasantries nor conversation…Nothing! What??!!
Honestly, I don’t give too much credence to any of these possibilities . And by no means am I suggesting that all men should be approaching me. But this percentage of some to none is not in my favor.
Are single men of the same socio-economic, educational, and physical attractiveness as myself not drawn to me? Or do I need to adjust my vibes to be more palatable? It’s true that I haven’t the space to participate in nonsensical communication nor am I trying to engage in a serious attachment. Perhaps that’s what I’m communicating unaware. But it’s just a date people!
Here’s where I solicit reader participation. I am eager to hear from you. Feel free to leave your constructive thoughts and/or advice to incite a conversation that may help me or anyone seeking a healthy and fun dating life.