A few years ago I read a book entitled How to Get Out of Your Way by Tyrese Gibson. The book resonated with me because he discusses how we are often our own biggest obstacles to achieving our dreams. Oftentimes, the environment we grew up in influences our trajectory and to underscore this point, Tyrese provides his own life experiences to show how he started getting out of his own way. One of the chapters that really stood out was the discussion about who’s in your circle of five. The thinking is the people you allow in your life affect your environment and ultimately impact who and what you become. People are either adding to your life or taking away from it. There is no in between and people who are not good for your life are disposable.
Likewise, my pastor’s sermon this weekend was on emotional intelligence as it relates to relationships. He identified six ways you can improve your emotional intelligence which include-
- Know yourself which means know your relationship with God.
- Know your personality which reflects the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- Know your baggage which is shaped by your experiences.
- Know your motives, what motives you to do what you do?
- Know your expectations, which includes the unspoken and unrealistic.
- Know people, become a student of human emotions and interactions.
These points made me think about the experiences (i.e., baggage) that have shaped my perspective and made me wonder if maybe it’s time for a shift. After all, if like attracts like then the people around me bring comfort and familiarity that serves neither of us if we need to move forward rather than backwards or laterally. Someone once said to me that everybody that came with you cannot go with you but we often don’t want to separate ourselves from what’s comfortable but real growth means we must, doesn’t it?
So who’s in your circle of five and are they making you better? Conversely, are you making them better?