A Single Man’s Thoughts…

A Single Man’s Thoughts…

What’s a single guy to do? So many choices so little time and so much time and so little choices. It’s all in a day’s work for a single guy…and yes, single guys rock too!
I turned 40 this summer and feel like I’m just starting to live. Being single is fun. How much fun you’re wondering?

Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy

I took a trip to Jamaica to celebrate my birthday and it felt good to not have to worry about anything or anyone. There were no guilty thoughts or worrying about whether I should or shouldn’t. I had all the sun, beach, pool, and cocktails to myself. Not to mention the eyes of all those women who were wondering if I was alone… and then decided to ask me why I was here alone. My reply was simple, “now that I’m talking to you I’m not alone anymore.” That brought a laugh and started some great conversations that led to…well enough of that, where was I? Oh yes. My days and nights were filled with a care-free sense of living life to the fullest. I didn’t worry about what I did having an impact on anything except my fun-o-meter. When you are single and happy about being single it seems like the world is your playground. Do what you want, when you want, how you want and answer only to yourself (or the police if you take it to the level…I thought that was legal in Jamaica). So many choices.

After soaking up the sun and playing to my heart’s content, I unfortunately had to come back home to reality. Back to normal. It didn’t mean that playtime was over, it just meant I was back to the usual game. Also, waiting for me at home were all the daily chores I’d abandoned while on vacation. Go through mail, cut the grass, clean the house, cook my own meals, answer business emails, return phone calls, car and house repairs/maintenance, etc. It also meant going back to the 9-5 routine. It’s times like this where you wish you had more hours in the day or wish you weren’t single.

I am NOT ready for reality at this time

Wait, did I just say that? If I weren’t single then someone could help me take care of some of these things right? But the more I think about it, whether you’re single or in a relationship or married, men still have to do all or most of these things. The responsibility doesn’t go away. And if we aren’t doing the task ourselves, we’re paying someone to do it. Am I right? This is one area where single men and single women probably have the most in common. We have to get all this done on our own. So little time.

So now that the house is in order, the car is running perfectly and I’ve followed up on everything–what is a single guy to do? Sleep? Well maybe get some sleep,but it means that I have time on my hands and the world is my playground. I can do everything else I’ve been meaning to do (read that book, work on my hobby, get caught up on favorite shows). If I stay home, there are a million things I can do. If I choose to go out (even though it’s a Monday or Tuesday), there are a good number of places where I can end up. I don’t have to be home by a certain time. I don’t have anyone waiting on me so I can take my time wherever I’m going.
I’m not worried about being by myself and getting home after dark. I can check out the local happy hour spot where I’m sure to run into some unexpected type fun. You know the type– you go to a familiar spot, expecting to see the usual bartenders, waitstaff and locals all going through the same motions as every other time. Yet this time something different happens. You meet some new faces who are either in town for business or on vacation. You drink and mesh well with them and the next thing you know you’re playing tour guide, running around town to the local hot spots. All the while you’re flirting with the cutie (and her friends) that keeps smiling and thanking you for being a good sport and showing them an awesome time.
You only check your watch to see what time it is so you know if you have time to go to one more spot. It’s these types of options that make single life fun. You chalk it up to it just being what single life is all about. The spontaneity, the freedom, the extra shot of tequila that only you and the porcelain bowl will know about later. So much time. Now I’m tired…whew, it’s getting harder to keep up with these late night excursions. It’s so much fun though that it’s hard to imagine it getting old. You meet some new people and now have some new stories to tell. That is exactly what you think the day after. And at my age I surprise myself that I’m able to keep up. It makes me feel like I’m 21 again. So what am I thinking now? Let’s do it again!
We wish every night can be like that. Filled with new fun, new laughs, new friends. But the reality is that it will not happen. It will be far and few between before another night like that happens. Why? Because the old routine comes back around. The happy hour spot/bar/lounge/club goes back to what it was before. You see the same people doing the same thing. All those single folks out looking for that super hype night only to end up with another deja vu. I’m not saying the locals aren’t fun and cool to be around, but the familiarity of it makes you wonder what else is there to do. Of course you can drink the night away and be content, laugh and joke with the same group from last time and be content.
And you can flirt and charm the same person that you have been flirting/charming with forever (are they ever going to say yes?) and be content with that. It seems like you end up going through the motions for a while until the next “big night” hits. So little choices. All in all the single life is good. Whether you are a guy or girl. It’s about living life and enjoying what it has to offer…or what you can create. Single folks have to stop thinking that people in relationships are more happy or have more fun. That is so not true.
Just like thinking that single people are out having the time of their lives all the time is not true. People do what they want to do…what works for them. Single guys tend to get a bad rap (so to speak) because of the perceived notion that we have the ability to do whatever we want, when we want. I know a lot of single guys who haven’t had a date in months or can’t get girls to call them back. But they don’t sulk, they don’t pout. They know that is all part of the process, part of the game. They just find a new thing to do (choices) OR do all the household chores they have been putting off (time). When all else fails they just go to Jamaica and really live the single life.
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