The Timing Was Off

“

The timing was off.”

This is what a guy I met online more than a year ago said to me in response to my question about why we had yet to meet face-to-face. I’m still not clear on what it means. And when I asked him to clarify, you know what he said?

The timing was just off.

Say what now?

I won’t bore you with the details of what’s transpired during the year but I will tell you that we hadn’t been communicating the entire time. There were months where we didn’t talk at all because I got frustrated and shut it down. Maybe you, the reader of this little post, can actually help me figure this out.

Because him giving this lame a** response really isn’t saying ANYTHING, am I right? Anyone? Let’s be honest here, we all make time for the things we choose to, right? So if we follow that logic then a reasonable person can conclude that he wasn’t interested in making the time for whatever reason, right?

If you’re wondering where I’m going with this then wonder no longer, the moral of the story is his lack of interest in no way devalues my worth. I’m mentioning this because for a long time I (incorrectly) believed my worth was based on whether a man wanted me.

I incorrectly believed my worth was based on whether a man wanted me.

I bumped my head against that wall so many times that hopefully you, the reader, will learn from my mistake. This is important enough that it bears repeating. Someone’s interest (or lack thereof) in no way diminishes my worth. Say it with me now…our worth is not determined by another person.

Once I figured this out I couldn’t help but wonder why it’s taken me so long (and quite a few men) to do so. I’m a pretty intelligent person so what’s really going on here? I truly believe our communities, and by extension, society, place such importance and value on relationships that we unconsciously take this on.

Someone’s interest (or lack thereof) in no way diminishes my worth.

By take this on I mean we don’t often have an opportunity when we’re young to figure out who we are and what we want before the idea of coupledom is heaped upon us. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? The subtle messages we receive from TV shows, movies, and magazine ads is that couples have more fun than us single folks.

And for a long time I followed that line of thinking hook, line, and sinker. I’m just now starting to figure out that I have more to do than be someone’s girlfriend. I think you do too.

The subtle messages we receive from TV shows, movies, and magazine ads is that couples have more fun than us single folks.