The three dots at the end of the title to this little blog are ominous aren’t they? I always struggle to answer this question, or the closely associated “why aren’t you married” question when asked. A response doesn’t readily leap to mind which is surprising. It’s like there’s an implied “what’s wrong with you” that underlies the question. I even try to make a joke out of it when I’m asked and just say “I know, I’m fabulous and now you’re wondering if I’m crazy, right? Am I right?”. Ha ha…to be honest when I say this it’s usually to buy myself some time to figure out an appropriate and proper response (although I have no clue what would be considered ‘appropriate’ or ‘proper’). I should mention that the only people who ask are single men who tend to forget the fact that the same could be asked of them. My tried and true responses go something like this “well I haven’t met the right guy” or “I’m tired of the associated bullshit that comes with dating and relationships”. That seems to get a universal “ahh” accompanied by a head nod of understanding.
Then I came across this article in Psychology Today written by Dr. Bella DePaulo, who offers up some pretty funny responses she’s used when asked this question. The responses actually made me laugh out loud and I couldn’t resist sharing them and plan to write them on index cards and them carry around with me to use when the question next comes up…cause it always does.
Clueless Question: “So why have you never been married?”
Answer: So why have you never been an accountant? (NOTE: this response is only funny if the person asking is in fact, not an account!)
Clueless Question: “Why aren’t you married?”
Answer: Why aren’t you a Christmas tree?
Clueless Question: “When are you going to get married?”
Answer: When did you last have sex?
Clueless Question: “Will you ever marry?”
Answer: Maybe if I get hit on the head with a rock and turn into a different person.
I think the real takeaway here is the idea that most people assume you in fact want to get married and that may or may not be the case for some people. But isn’t it interesting that no one really stops to consider this?
What sort of creative answers do you offer when asked this question? I admit, as evidenced by what I wrote above, that I tend to avoid answering these questions or overthink my response, but now I think I’m going to start saying the first thing that comes to mind! That’ll show ‘em.